"Total decimation allows for a better reconstruction." Completely breaking down anything allows you to rebuild it with a stronger foundation. It's a better approach than having half assed band-aid solutions. You have to be able to let go or let things fall apart sometimes to see progress. But taking this road for most if often scary, there is no easy button.
It's quite scary, having to face change. And having to face yourself is even scarier. Last year I picked up everything and moved across the country to Alberta and its unforgivable cold. It wasn't a move a made so easily, I had just been through an emotionally draining relationship which completely sucked all the inspiration out of me. Also, I had recently graduated with a Criminology degree and was searching for a job in my field. I waited a year to find a job in my field but instead, looking for work became my job! At the end of it I was depressed, and uninspired. In hopeless resignation I decided that I would move and change would be good for me.
I remember sitting on the plane unsure of what to expect. But it was a welcome change that I so desperately needed. At the time I didn't think much of it until during a phone conversation with my mother I recall her saying "you sound happy". Not long after I had arrived in Alberta I had several job prospects. I found a job working as an Intervention Worker in a women's shelter and then got another job as a Community Liaison. What a difference a year made!
I just remember how I was so reluctant to leave the city that I grew up in and the friends and family I loved so much. But at the end of the day I had their love and support regardless of distance. And I especially remember my father's words "we are so proud of you" and "remember why you are there". In the end it was my fear of change that was stopping me from doing bigger and better things. It was my fear of changed that allowed me to stay in a relationship that broke me down.
In retrospect each of the painful experiences last year helped me to grow. I've learned that for me to change for the better I have to be completely unafraid to let go. As of now, my intent is to be awesome. However scary it is to let go, just do it.
